Or to put it another way...
THE FEELING YOU’VE HERD THIS BULL BEFORE
Following the startling revelation that former Pakistan cricket coach, Bob Woolmer, died of ‘natural causes’, the crack Jamaican police force, buoyed with success, immediately announced their findings into sport's other big murder trial – umpiring in the AFL.
Jamaican Police Chief Commissioner I C Nuffink stunned the football world when he declared his thorough examination of Monday’s crime scene revealed no evidence of foul play.
Nuffink insisted it was in fact the football supporters who were guilty of being in possession of a deadly weapon – the unreal expectation that the AFL rules committee could resist the temptation of introducing ridiculous game changing rules each year.
Nuffink said his team's totally independent forensic report showed that public satisfaction was at an all time high with the haphazard enforcement of the contentious new ‘hands in the back’ rule.
“If anything, the football public want to see more games turned into chook raffles”, explained Nuffink.
Nuffink then stunned a packed media conference when he announced his comprehensive investigation had also uncovered:
Fortunately spiritual leader, curtain lover and hardcore Maggie fan, the Dalai Lama, was in town to see his beloved Pies play and was able to put some perspective on what he described as a real Barry Crocker.
Blowing a whistle madly every thirty seconds the Dalai explained that that is the sound of one hand in the back clapping.
It was at this point that one journo piped up wanting to know why, if the Lama was such a huge Pie fan, did he head to Princes Park for his speech.
The Dalai smiled.
Smiled some more.
Then quietly intoned that in his culture the elephant was sacred and that the whiter the elephant the more sacred the animal.
Slapping his knee he laughed that sitting in The Legends Stand was a truly heavenly experience.
Zen.
Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au.
