Status: It's......SHOWTIME!!!
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Born: Black 'n' White
Interested in: Collingwood victories
Relationship status: Collingwood tragic
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* HEATH 'SEMTEX' SHAW
Just how explosive is Heater right now?!
If the Australian batsmen had made as many runs as he did on Sundee eve we'd still have the Ashes!
CBF?
There is no doubt about it. He is in Career Best Form.
And what a perfect time to hit it!  It's time for the big payback.
 
* ROFL
No, it's not what you think.
After that shocking dose of rabies at the Crypt on Sundee evening I'm not rolling on any floor laughing or otherwise.  It's much worse than that.
Far worse than the blindness one suffers when the bright lights shine on that faux albino, the man that can't tan, Jason Akermanis.

Sadly I suffer from acute ROFL syndrome dear readers.
Rubbed Out Finals Lunacy.

I first developed the symptoms way back when the Fabulous One, Phil Carman turned watchmaker and clocked Micky Tuck for no apparent reason in a Prelim Final.

I thought I was cured until jumping Jason Cloke and his flamboyant fist sent me running back to the medicine cabinet. The Lakeside Latin's errant elbow the following year just compounded the problem, not to mention Brendan Lade's jaw.

So pleassssssse, my brave Magpie Warriors, I beg of thee - be patient and leave all the 'good stuff' for the last game of the year like they did in 1990.

Of course we need to make the Prelim first, so let’s bury the Saints like a hidden treasure.
And that hidden treasure is Paul Medhurst!

I smell a big one and it has nothing to do with last night's kebab!
 
* SEPTEMBER
Cowboys love hats.
Cars love petrol.
Hammers love nails.
And Collingwood loves September!
 
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* PIE FLOATERS
Just what on earth was going on with the kicking skills on Sundee evening?!
I haven't seen so many yellow balls floating all over the place since the Alfred Hospital put a day spa in their jaundice ward.
Inbox:
 
Hey Hottie,
 
Every September we are in the finals - that's a lot in the last 7 years I put a flagpole up in my front yard to show my love for the beautiful Pies! Unfortunately I have had to pull it down before the end of the month. But not this year - I have a feeling in my water that something good might be brewing up.
 
Anyway, I normally put a couple of street naming blades (I am a sign maker) with players names on them - like Presti Place, Swan Street, Maxwell Mews etc.
 
I thought you would like to see the one I made for Lockyer Lane - it’s got a NO PARKING symbol on it!!! That one is for you and your inspirational Faithbook you put up every week.
A photo is attached.
 
Love Ya Champ.
From Johnny (Tasmania)
 
We've saved the best til last.
How awesome is this guy?
Nothing I can say or do gets close to topping this!!
Legend!!!

•    Got something you want to say or ask or just want to get something off you black and white chest?
Then drop us a line at hotrodsfaithbook@gmail.com and we’ll attempt to keep that faith.
•    And be aware that all correspondence is subject to defamation laws.

KEEP THE FAITH

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Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au