One ugly man. Many ugly thoughts. Hottie praises the efforts of a new addition to the Magpie line-up.

TALL TALES BUT TRUE

Or to put it another way……

PIMP MY RUCK

As one nudist said to the other, please bare with me.

Much has been made of the individual and collective heroics of those Mighty Fightin’ Pies as we all bask in the afterglow of such a magnificent victory over such a fierce rival on such a significant day.

From the remarkable return to the limelight and sheer wizardry of Mr A. Didak, the ferret like ferocity of Shaw x 2, Tarkyn ‘No Parking’ Lockyer’s belly to belly block and tackle on McPhee, Harry O’s snuff job on Lucas to Scotty Burns’ own private version of Remember the Alamo in the fourth quarter. The plaudits have just kept rolling in faster than the yum cha trolley at Mandy Vanstone’s farewell luncheon.

There was also much salivating over the Pies genital generation of Thomas, Cox and Dick and acclamation over Destiny’s Child, Beyonce Cloke’s solo performance in football’s toughest position.

And all rightly so.

But one man who played a pretty big part in the win appears to have missed out on his share of the back slapping spoils.

He didn’t just slip under the radar; he musta dived like a certain full forward!

The poor bloke appears about as popular as Alec Baldwin at a kid’s party!!

Until now that is!!!

It is my job, fellow Spudsters, to right the wrongs of previous days and pay tribute to the man and future Collingwood legend that is……..

CHRIS BRYAN!!!

Not since the great Tyrannosaurus Rex of rucking, Damien Monkhorst, wore the Black ‘n’ White so famously have the Pies entered battle with such a mean crash and bash big man.

To see him patrol the corridor with such a menacing presence is something I have not seen at Lexusland for over a decade.

Like a divorced couple in Warsaw, he and Fraser are poles apart when it comes to style which makes them the perfect foil for each other. Josh the giraffe crossed with a gazelle. Chris the giraffe crossed with a rhino. Collingwood the club crossed with good fortune.

I’m no Jehovah’s Witness but I’m gunna make the early call anyway – if this pairing works (and I can’t see why not) the sky just may well be the limit for this young Pie unit.

Whilst I’m sure we will encounter plenty of turbulence along the way, Chris Bryan has just added some extra fuel for the trip.

Hot Potato salutes you Chris Bryan.
Well played sir!

Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au.