As published in The Age on Friday 3 July.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men
These are my favourite bible verses from the book of Matthew 5:14-16. These words hold great meaning to me and my desire is to live my life in this way.
I am a person who loves to find inspiration through many sources. I am easily inspired by the beauty of life and the infinite possibilities it has to offer. Whether it is art, song lyrics, architecture or even the sight of a mother lovingly caring for her child makes me inspired and sends shivers down my spine.
A major inspiration in my life is my family. During the mid-season break I was fortunate enough to spend a couple of days in Perth with my family.
My family is going through the toughest time of our history after losing my father just before the start of the footy season. Despite our immense pain we know we will get through this. My family’s resolve and resilience in times of adversity is what is holding us together.
It is true what they say, “It’s not how hard you fall that matters, it’s how you get up.”
If you take a look throughout history at the most important and influential people you will find countless examples of how their greatest triumphs were derived from their greatest tragedy/adversity.
My sister Raquel who lives in Perth is 16 years old and is in year 11. One of her assessments in English was to write a persuasive speech which she would deliver in front of her class.
She courageously decided she would write about her experiences in relation to the passing of our Dad.
The day she had to deliver her speech she was very nervous, but still felt she could deliver a powerful speech. When her English teacher called her up to deliver her speech Raquel walked to the front of the class.
She went to open her mouth, but nothing came out. She could feel the blood rushing to her head and started to realise all the eyes in the classroom were on her waiting for her to speak. The pressure got to be too much. She broke down in tears and ran out of the class room.
Once outside the classroom she immediately called my Mum to tell her what happened. My Mum told her that she had committed to delivering the speech and that she had to honour her commitments. She also said, “Raquel what would Dad want you to do?”
With the encouraging words of my Mum, Raquel gathered the courage to return to the classroom to deliver her speech. The teacher asked her if she was ready and she stood up again moving to the front of the classroom, this time with her head held high. This is the speech that she delivered entitled: Suicide
My Dad was a family man. My Dad was my hero. He was the most selfless man I had ever met and he would do absolutely anything to make my Mum, my brothers and myself happy. He would literally bend over backwards to please us, put smiles on our faces and make our lives as easy as possible.
It was sacrifice. He was constantly sacrificing his spare time and his spare money on us. Whether it be volunteering to coach all my brothers’ footy teams, picking my friends and I up from parties at ungodly hours or surprising my Mum with a new pair of shoes to show her he loved her.
Unfortunately, life got so difficult and so unbearable for my Dad. His final sacrifice was one that has altered our lives forever. It’s one that can not be changed. It’s one that’s definitely not easy to understand.
Suicide affects hundreds and thousands of Australians every year. In 1998, suicide rates reached an all time high. Since then, organisations have been established such as LifeLine to offer support to those contemplating taking their own life. With the added awareness on the issue, suicide rates have been gradually decreasing.
But I’m not here today to discuss the prevention of suicide. I’m here to talk to you all about when it comes out of thin air and hits you like a ton of bricks.
When someone takes their own life most people instantly question why. Why did they do it? Why would anyone want to end their own life? Why didn’t they think of all their other options? It’s so easy to question why. I know, because I’ve felt that way. What is harder, but far more important to do is to try to understand that person’s feelings.
Many people see suicide as a selfish option; an escape so to speak. But what about the famous quote: “never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes”? So, let’s get rid of this ideology that it’s a ‘selfish’ and ‘evil’ option and consider the despair, the depression, the angst that the person must have been feeling for them to truly believe that their life was no longer worth living.
I can tell you that leading up to suicide the person is no longer themselves. So caught up in thinking how insignificant their life is and how much of a failure they are, despite usually being so, so far from the truth, to them, it’s all they can see.
Personally, I can’t even begin to imagine the extent of emotional pain people who choose to end their own lives must have endured. The mere thought makes me feel deep sympathy and sorrow for all those who have committed suicide.
With the damage irreversible, the decision is huge. The decision is, in fact, life or death.
Shortly after my Dad’s passing I received some advice from my older brother, Heritier. He said to me “Raquel, this year is going to be the biggest test of your life. We don’t know why Dad did it, we don’t need to. What we do know is that Dad loved us and would never do anything to hurt us. You’ve got to realize that at that very moment, at that very point in time, that was the only option that Dad felt he had. I’m sure if he could turn back time things would be very different. At least now he’s found peace.”
Since that day, I’ve never questioned as to why my Dad took his life again. After all, questioning why isn’t achieving anything. What’s done is done. No one knows exactly what that person was going through.
“Why” is just a rhetorical question. The person who took their life is no longer there to offer you a response. So, instead of speculating all the possible reasons for their decision, I stress for you all, if you ever have to experience this ordeal, to take the time to think of that person’s feelings and have compassion and love. Then, I assure you, there will be no need to question why they did it again.
She delivered these words extremely powerfully without even getting choked up. After she finished the class rose to their feet and gave her a standing ovation.
I am so proud and amazed that someone of 16 years of age could have firstly had the courage to choose such a topic, but then be able to stand and deliver this in a powerful way.
I hope that you are all just as inspired as me.
Overcoming adversity is a choice. You and only you can decide how you handle things. Do you choose to drop your head and declare it’s all too hard? Or do you choose to raise your chin and meet your situation head on?
Again I stress look through history. Nelson Mandela was jailed for 27 years, Ludwig van Beethoven was deaf, Lance Armstrong had life threatening cancer, and the list goes on.
You may question why I chose to share such a personal thing with everyone. I direct you back to the top of the page to remind you how I desire to live my life.
“You are the light of the world, shine before all men!”
Live for hope
Harry O
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14.
Click HERE to view previously published 'Harry's World' articles exclusively on collingwoodfc.com.au
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