Click here to visit the Hot Potato archiveIT’S TIME TO BUCKLE UP
Or to put it another way……
DON’T WAIT TO SEE THAT LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. MARCH STRAIGHT DOWN THERE AND LIGHT THE BLOODY THING YOURSELF COLLINGWOOD!!!!!!!
That television psychic and hair gel hogger John Edward (you know, the guy who’s seen more stiffs than Traci Lords) would have had a ball on Friday night.
And not just on the field but off it also!
Anybody who partook in a post match shandy at one of the many MCG friendly watering holes could testify to the number of Collingwood corpses grimly swallowing bitter Bitter.
For a side that was allegedly punching out of its weight division all season the Woods have certainly copped a few tasty upper-cuts following the loss last Friday night. And being brutally honest, watching those Tiger pygmies smash us at the centre clearances was like watching Return Of The Living Dead!
But wallowing in self pity is what Richmond supporters do. Not us.
Like the man with one thong we need to get on the front foot as soon as possible and secure our position faster than you can say Peter North.
To do this I say we need to implement my THREE POINT PEACE PLAN immediately.
1. Marty Clarke
- I hope Irish enjoyed his rest coz we need him back NOW. Like the perfect nostril, he picks himself.
2. Alan Didak
- Troubled by a dicky knee, unhip and suffering from the world’s longest hangover – if it can’t stop Molly Meldrum it shouldn’t stop Dids!!
And finally:
3. BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!
- I know Custard Pants in The Age now thinks she is managing The Great Man’s career and Iron Mike thinks it smacks of ‘desperation’ to even think about selecting a superstar. But it is not about them and it is not about Bucks. It is about getting the 4 points ASAP and the solution is as obvious as Posh Spice’s implants!!
Forget pushing Frase and Maxi up forward. Just plonk Tim Tam (The Inspirational Majestic Timeless Alpha Male) at Full Forward and keep his kicks down to thirty metres tops.
We all know Bucks can play forward. Hopefully Irish and Dids can give the mids a chop out. Forget this Willy nonsense. This isn’t about romance this is about business and right now it’s the business of securing a spot in the top eight.
If all goes well, the mighty Collingwood Football Club can assess the situation on Saturday morning. There is no law saying Bucks has to play every week and there is definitely no law that says great players need be 100% match fit.
But there IS a law saying if Tim Tam in his heart of hearts thinks he is fit enough to play then play him. He is not an idiot.
And if we are to turn this Black ‘n’ White Pasha Bulker around, in three week’s time we need Bucks to be up to speed on the big stage not slowly easing in to it like a Volvo driver on a freeway on ramp.
Anyway, according to Custard Pants and her army of ‘un-named sources’ Bucks is gunna retire and do a coaching apprenticeship at some other club. So what is there to lose?
Dearest Spudsters, we are on the verge of a great moment in Collingwood’s history.
PICK BUCKS NOW!!!!!!!!
“If you even dream of beating me you better wake up and apologize.”
Mohammed Ali
Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au.
