NASA - I'm over the moon!
Profile:
Born: Black 'n' White
Interested in: Collingwood victories
Relationship status: Collingwood tragic
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Current friends: 639
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* COMMON SENSE
Like a good duffle coat it simply never goes out of fashion. But it seems to me that, when it comes to common sense, the so called boffins in our Footy Op Dep are dragging the chain like a man who lost his dog. Surely it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that Lexusland needs to be remodeled to look like Tullamarine Airport. And quickly!
Forget jet lag, the Pies suffer from jet flag!
The further away from Melbourne they get the better they play. They score quicker on the road than the Rolling Stones! Clearly we need to do as much as possible to replicate this sense of travel for EVERY game no matter where it is played.
I propose we dispense with the traditional use of 'runners' immediately and replace them with baggage handlers. Not just that, I'd like to see a duty free store set up near the interchange bench which, from this moment on, will only be referred to as the departure lounge.
Players will, of course, have to check in their bags at least an hour before each game and turn off all mobile phones. I'm still undecided, but with the way the Pies have been travelling lately, it might be wise to put in 'Fasten Your Seat Belt' signs in the coaches box.
Delete as friend:
* NOBODY
That's right! I'm too gosh darn happy with seeing Sir Leon of Neon tripping the light fantastic as only he can to delete anybody..nahhh, on second thoughts, lets delete Caroline Wilson.
Inbox:
Your Hotness,
Congratulations on your winning game plan last week.
(FROM LAST WEEK: "Well TJ, I've devised a cunning plan - it involves being in front on the scoreboard at the end of the game.
I've run it past MM and he promised to bring it up at the next player's meeting.
I just hope they stick to the game plan this time".)
Please make sure the boy stick to it.
Bryce Gibson
I can't take all the credit Bryce. It turns out the players have been getting distracted by the bright colours on Swanny and Laser Beam's arms at team meetings. What made it worse is they'd always sit at the front but Maxi has nipped that in the bud. All players have been issued with long sleeve skivvies - Versace of course.
Hotrod,
Love your column mate. You are the silver lining in the Collingwood cloud.
JD
Ahhhh, that's sweet........but not as sweet as Neon Leon's form again West Coast! Now that was SWEEEEEEEEEEET!!
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Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au
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