Or to put it another way……
OUT OF THE MOUTHS...
I kid you not dear Spudsters.
The above quote is how chisel chinned professional smiler Graham Cornes chose to validate his revolutionary call for the AFL to introduce a “Brother/Brother” rule following the latter’s four billionth tampering with the current Father/Son rule.
According to Cornsey it’s bordering on barbaric for the Selwoods to be playing at three different clubs claiming how cruel it must be for their family to have to support three different teams.
Crikey! Imagine how gutted a family who’s boys NEVER got drafted must feel!
Disregarding the fact that the Wakelins actually DID start their football careers at the same club, we here at Spud Central actually think Cornsey might be onto something – less a case of lateral thinking and more a case of collateral thinking.
But why stop at a Brother/Brother rule?
Why not have a Brother/Sister rule so that every kid born in Geelong can play for that club or a Brother/Brown Paper Bag rule so that anybody whose parents have worked a ‘cash’ job can find themselves on the Carlton list.
But the media madness (yes I know, like a Volvo in Canberra, I’m part of it in a roundabout way) doesn’t end there. As Tom Byron will tell you, it’s all about column inches. And doesn’t football’s favourite uncle, Mike Sheahan have a big column?
Last week he declared Port Power “have rights” and therefore should be allowed to wear whatever jumper they desire. As opposed to Collingwood who apparently have no rights and who voted to allow Port Power into the league as long as they didn’t wear the black ‘n’ white.
Like Rick James with a parachute I don’t give a flying funk what Port Power wear just as long as the Pies wear black ‘n’ white. As far as I’m concerned the Power can wear the black ‘n’ white prison bars or the all brown and gold of prison showers if they like. But what heritage does Port Power actually have? They’ve always worn teal! Correct me if I’m wrong dear Spudsters but the Power has NEVER played at Alberton Oval have they? And why doesn’t West Coast wear Subiaco jumpers? At least they’ve played at that ground!
Not to be outdone though, Bullies coach and the guy who DIDN’T coach the Swans to win an AFL sanctioned Premiership has warned Victorians that local rivalries may be holding Victorian clubs back.
Now I forgive Eade his folly since he was used to being spoon fed by the AFL in Sin City but let’s be honest – rivalries ain’t holding the Doggies back.But it’s whinges like Eade’s that make the calls to scale back football department spending (aka Collingwood is spending twice what we are and it’s just not fair boo hoo!) all the more incredulous.
Collingwood is in fact trying to keep pace with our NEW rivals – the interstate juggernauts. Here is a newsflash Rocket, there were probably 20-30 babies born in both Adelaide and Perth last night, maybe even more. I’m tipping none of them will grow up to support and put money into either Collingwood or the Bulldogs. Those clubs will continue to grow. It is up to Collingwood to keep pace.
That is why wins like the one against the Crows are so pleasing. With so many kids in the Pies line-up it doesn’t happen by chance.
Now that I’ve got all that off my chest let me leave you with a trivia question:
What is the difference between me and Chris Bryan?
Chris Bryan has played two great games for Collingwood!!!
He’s a cheaper pick up than Paris Hilton and ironically has gotten us OUT of jail!
This mean machine needs a good nickname.
We should ask Cornsey, he’s an ideas man!
Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au.
