Status:  Ahhhhhhhhh, the smell of victory!  It makes me happier than a hippy with hessian handbag.  But we all know what Round 3 brings………..
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Born: Black ‘n’ White

Interested in: Collingwood victories

Relationship status: Collingwood tragic
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Add as friend:

* DAYNE ‘LASER’ BEAMS
In just his first crack at the real stuff DLB showed more poise than a catwalk model, more style than a designer label and more grace than Dave Sullivan.
He attacks, he defends – he’s everything the French army isn’t.
Quick of hand, quick of foot and, most importantly of all, quick of mind.
Now it was only his first game and it was only the Demons so, just like Tupperware, I’m gunna keep a lid on it and declare him a certain 250 gamer rather than a 300er.
I just can’t wait for the day our two Great Da(y)nes gang tackle somebody together – it’ll be like watching a fish getting wrapped in the Sunday Herald-Sun’s comics page.

* THE END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS
Normally this is not a good thing but given the fact that for two weeks running the Pies have ‘started’ their games one hour later than the opposition, putting the clocks back an hour might actually work in our favour.

Delete as friend:

* SAM LANE
Ms Lane churlishly asked Beyonce Cloke after the game “What is it about Collingwood? They have no stars.”
Now this is a bit like asking the Queen what is it about England, they have no royalty or asking a race horse what is it about jockeys, they have no height.
Has Ms Lane been living in a cave……or worse still, an over priced card board box?!?!
Has she not heard of The Treasurer, John Jack Anthony?
The man with three names is a bigger star than alpha centaury for Bucks’ sake!
Did Sam not see him down on one knee, arms akimbo, black leather glove poised to choke slam, Didaking a goal yesterday?
The Treasurer can do anything!
No stars indeed.

* 50 METRE PENALTIES
They have officially become the speed cameras of football.
Players will be unwittingly receiving infringement notices in the mail next!

Inbox:

“Dear Hotrod,
I've been a pies supporter for the last 30 years. I was wondering do you think that Collingwood will win a flag in the next 5 years?”

Danny Archer

I most certainly do Danny.
Mind you, I also believe there is meat in dim sims, Sir Elton John still has his real hair, Nicholas Cage is a good actor and Werribee is a wonderful place to go swimming.


"Hi Hot Rod,
I really liked the nick name you use for John Anthony - "The Treasurer"
Then I got to thinking perhaps it would be good to use your witty sense of humour to give them all a nickname over the next few weeks.  For instance Big Trav is certainly "The General", isn't he - you may have something more humorous than that.  What do you think?”

Richard Godfrey

Big Trav can’t be the General. He’s Beyonce – Destiny’s Child.
(This of course makes Cam Kelly Rowland and Jason, the other one)
Besides, have you ever seen TC tonk one from outside 50? Now that’s what I call Bootylicious!!


“Hotrod, do you think we will see a Magpie kick 100 goals this year?”

Matthew Whitten

To achieve such a remarkable feat it takes great talent and even greater accuracy Matt.  We both know the man with three names has both.  Can he do it?  I hope so.

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•    Got something you want to say or ask or just want to get something off you black and white chest?
Then drop us a line at hotrodsfaithbook@gmail.com and we’ll attempt to keep that faith.
•    And be aware that all correspondence is subject to defamation laws.

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Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au