Status:  Critical. Send paramedics (not for me, for the players!)
Profile:
Born: Black 'n' White

Interested in: Collingwood victories

Relationship status: Collingwood tragic
My friends:  Current friends: 482
 
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* STEELE SIDEBOTTOM
I'm praying that the man of steele is EXACTLY that.
Coz we really do need a Superman right about now.
Now I don't expect Steele to be leaping tall Roccas in a single bound or to be faster than  a speeding Leon - that's Daisy Thomas' job.
As for kryptonite - better that than being crippled tonight like half the list.
Let's hope MM employs the KISS principle - Keep In Steele Sidebottom.
 
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* CHANGES
Blimey! We've been forced to make so many structural changes lately
Michael Jackson has become jealous.
 
* THE BUDGET
I know these are tough times but I didn't think The Treasurer would slash his own
accuracy by over 50%! Fingers crossed that the man with three names proves to
be our stimulus package this week.
Inbox:

Dear H,
When do you predict the next Magpie victory? Will it be this year?
Stephen G
 
Stephen, I'm predicting it will be this week.
This of course is not based on any scientific fact.
 
Hotrod,
When Nick Maxwell says the Pies can still play finals do you believe him?
Helen T
 
Of course I do Helen! In fact, I don't just believe him, I'm holding him to it.
I know things don't look all that flash right now, but if Lyle Lovett could pull a chick like
Julia Roberts then surely something as easy as a Magpie win can't be that far away.
 
 
G'day Mr. Rod,
What do you think is the best way to beat West Coast this week?
TJ
 
Well TJ, I've devised a cunning plan - it involves being in front on the scoreboard at the end of the game.
I've run it past MM and he promised to bring it up at the next player's meeting.
I just hope they stick to the game plan this time.
•    Got something you want to say or ask or just want to get something off you black and white chest?
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KEEP THE FAITH

Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au