Complete with a fourth-quarter delay for lightning, Collingwood has defeated Melbourne by 46 points.
Rain hit at three-quarter time, and there'd been a flash of lightning around the ground about five minutes before the signal was given to pause the game with 9.31 left on the clock.
With Collingwood 41 points ahead, players trudged off the field at 9.56pm AEST.
The umpires returned to the field to what could have been their first ever case of rapturous applause at 10.27pm AEST, and play began 36 minutes after it was halted.
The final quarter ran close to 66 minutes, the final result, 15.13 (103) to 8.9 (57).
It had been an odd, meandering match up until that point.
With the "mathematical chance" still on offer for Collingwood's finals hopes, the simplified version saw the Pies needing to win by 100 before hoping Carlton capitulated by the same margin, and Fremantle to also lose. Fanciful stuff.
Collingwood jumped out to a 27-point lead at the first break, Nick Daicos dictating play despite starting at half-forward, a move which allowed the even younger and impressive Ed Allan some valuable time on the ball.
But a second-quarter Dees rally – winning the term by two points after Kade Chandler and Jacob van Rooyen booted quick goals – put paid to any thought of an outrageous thumping victory by the Pies.
Defence appeared optional for vast portions of the game, especially given the absence of Steven May (ribs) and late withdrawal Jake Lever (illness), as the very idea of low-pressure footy goes against everything for which the dogged pair stand.
At some points in the third term, as the ground mimicked a giant ping pong table, players, coaches and fans alike may have been posing themselves a few existential questions.
The Sisyphean figure of battered Melbourne skipper Max Gawn dragging his body up and down the field one last time after a tumultuous 2024 season summed up the game well.
Melbourne wasn't without its highlights, Kozzy Pickett finding plenty of space in attack, and Christian Salem running hard in defence, but the Dees failed to close within three goals, and Steele Sidebottom completely shut down Jack Viney in an impressive tagging performance from the winger.
The game was also the final in the career of noted field umpire 'Razor' Ray Chamberlain, the exuberant character opting to hang up the whistle, receiving a guard of honour from both teams and a handful of boos from the fans.
Daicos' Brownlow last hurrah
The Collingwood superstar was sitting second on AFL.com.au's Brownlow Predictor coming into the final round of the season, just two votes behind Carlton's Patrick Cripps. He – and his teammates – seemed intent on racking up as many disposals for the superstar as possible, although brother Josh may have had other ideas. Nick finished the match with 40 disposals and nine clearances, while Josh should also poll votes after 40 touches of his own.
A rare Melbourne moment
For the past 124 games, the Demons have had the surety of at least one of Lever or May patrolling the backline. The last time Melbourne was without both defenders was round 11, 2019, a two-point loss to Adelaide in Darwin. Without them, Adam Tomlinson and Tom McDonald played key defensive roles against a short Collingwood forward line, while Taj Woewodin replaced Lever across half-back.
MELBOURNE 1.1 4.4 7.5 8.9 (57)
COLLINGWOOD 5.4 8.5 12.8 15.13 (103)
GOALS
Melbourne: Tholstrup 2, Pickett 2, van Rooyen, Turner, Chandler, Billings
Collingwood: Lipinski 2, Hill 2, N.Daicos 2, Cameron 2, Sidebottom, Richards, Parker, Hoskin-Elliott, Elliott, Crisp, Allan
BEST
Melbourne: Salem, Langdon, Pickett, Gawn, McDonald
Collingwood: N.Daicos, J.Daicos, Lipinski, Allan, Hill
LATE CHANGES
Melbourne: Jake Lever (illness) replaced by Taj Woewodin
Collingwood: Nil
SUBSTITUTES
Melbourne: Bailey Laurie (replaced Jake Bowey at half-time)
Collingwood: Finlay Macrae (replaced Darcy Moore at half-time)
Crowd: 53,957 at the MCG
