Paul Robinson is one of the men behind the cult social media channels 'The Carlton Draft' and 'The Ressies Footballer'. 

His Black and White passion is unquestionable, and the views represented in this article are solely his own and not representative of the Collingwood Football Club.

There’s nothing more certain than Anthony Rocca’s goal incorrectly being called a point in the 2002 Grand Final than the fact we will be out for blood this week against the Lions.

God, I hate the Lions.

Yes, I know we all hate Carlton, Essendon and Richmond. It’s easy to hate those teams. Most of us are born into it. My first words were ‘Wayne Harmes was out of bounds’.

But let’s not forget the fourth horseman of the football apocalypse. The Brisbane Lions. Some may look at them now as a cellar-dweller in need of a prop up but let’s not forget how unbearable they were when they were a powerhouse.

They were Team Iceland, but worse. Don’t get that reference? Let me explain…

In 2002-03, football had its own version of the Mighty Ducks. A team maybe lacking in skill, but never lacking in heart. The Mighty Magpies, led bravely by Nathan Buckley and co were the brave challengers the AFL needed.

On the other hand, Team Iceland, their rivals on the ice in the second instalment of the franchise, were loathsome brutes who would go outside the rules to guarantee victory.

Unlike the film, the bad guys won in real life. If that doesn’t leave you with a lifetime’s worth of hatred for Team Iceland, ah… I mean, the Brisbane Lions, nothing will.

They’re a bit like an ex-girlfriend who scarred you for life and just won’t go away.

Sometimes they get a ridiculous new boyfriend who makes you feel better about yourself (signing Brendan Fevola in 2010… c’mon), and then just when you think you’re truly over them they steal one of your friends (I’m talking about you Dayne Beams).



It's so easy to forget that Fev at the Lions was a thing... Image: AFL Photos.

This Saturday night it’s time to let it all out and clear the air. It will be easy when our boys romp home with a 13-goal win. That will ease some of the 15-year-old pain.

Brodie Grundy continues to take giant steps forward and is by this point surely a clear lock for All-Australian. I expect him to not only give Stefan Martin an absolute lesson in the ruck, but to give the Lions midfielders a lesson in being a midfielder.

You can’t make All Australian in two positions. Outrageous, I know. I’ve called the committee and had this confirmed to me. They no longer answer my calls.

Last week, in a low scoring game, we had Travis Varcoe kick four bangers and nearly get us over the line against the Bondi Millionaires. Don’t be shocked if the back-flank cannonball stays up forward this week and makes a few Lions defenders look like Under 12’s. 

Speaking of, let’s leave it to the American Pie, Mason Cox to show Harris Andrews how it’s done. The big man will put an end to the thought of 2LN (Two Last Names) being spoken about as an All Australian.

A quick sidenote on 2LN’s – there’s not many of them out there, and for good reason. Fortune often comes to people with two first names. Think Michael Jordan, LeBron James and Leon Davis. With such an obvious formula for success, why in the world would you give your kid zero first names and call him Harris Andrews? I’m done on this topic now.

Alright, so we’re behind the eight-ball now in terms of the top-four. Luckily this week we’re against a side that’s not even on the pool table to get us back on track!

Brodie Grundy is going to clock over 55 hit outs again, Stepho, Cox and Varcs will kick 12 between them and expect the Ox-man Adam Oxley to take 10 intercept marks in his return game.

Have I missed anything?

It’s time to tame these Lions!



Beast-mode Brodie will be in action again at Etihad this Saturday. Image: AFL Photos.